Reading Time: 24 minutes

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Google Podcasts

Stitcher

About This Episode

In this episode, we’re going to explore the response “I’m fine!”  “On average, we say “I’m fine” 14 times a week, but only 19% of us actually mean it. You know the experience: you’re walking down the office hall and someone casually says, “Hey,  how are you today?” What is your instinctual response? Most people say “Fine, thank you. How are you?” And the response repeats itself. Why did that become such a common and acceptable response? It’s almost as casual as saying “hi.”

 

We all say it; sometimes we mean it and sometimes we don’t. Today we will explore why it’s a popular response, why society views it as an acceptable answer, how we and the members of our team can have more honest, vulnerable relationships, and what we can do when we’re not fine. 

 

Your One Next Step

 

Check out this week’s episode activation guide, a quiz our team developed to help you evaluate how honest you’re being with yourself and others. This 60-second quiz will help you determine if you’re actually fine or if it’s time you give yourself permission to ask for the help you deserve and so desperately need.

 

Download Now

 

In each episode, we highlight one next step for you and provide an activation or delegation guide to help you immediately take action, start applying what you learn, and get your team to help you.

1.  Don’t ask someone “how are you” unless you really want to know.

Reposition the common question to a simple, friendly “hello” or “good morning.” Asking a question we don’t really mean to ask just starts an “I’m fine” cycle in which the person on the other end might be masking how they really feel. If you’ve ever been on the other end of that question, when things really weren’t fine, you can relate. 

2. Having problems doesn’t mean we are a problem.

Society says that we need to have it all together. We need to have the perfect smile, the ideal marriage, the solid career, the beautiful kids, and the white picket fence around our house. That’s nonsense. It takes bravery to admit to yourself and others that things aren’t always okay. We’re human. We weren’t born or created to be perfect. While you might not want to open up to a stranger in an elevator, make sure you have someone to truly be authentic with when things aren’t fine. 

3. Leaders should adapt to the needs of the generations they lead.

The boomer on your team might not care about sharing what they did over the weekend. However, the millennial might be more than happy to talk about that, or even open up on a more personal level. The best leaders adapt and build their communication styles around the needs of their team. Emotional intelligence is your friend in building relationships with your team. 

Do you commonly say “I’m fine?” Why?
As a man or a woman, what are the different reasons you have for saying “I’m fine?”
Talk about the balance between “mental fortitude” and “emotional intelligence” that Tricia and LZ discussed in this podcast. 
What are the best ways to fight against the “I’m fine” mentality and be more authentic?

To be true to those around you, you have to first be true to yourself.

Lisa Zeeveld

Life is messy, it's not perfect, and you don't have to be fine.

Tricia Sciortino

It takes a lot of courage and bravery to be the person to say “I’m not fine.”

Tricia Sciortino

“I’m Fine” becomes a mask to protect ourselves from the areas of life that we don’t want to talk about.

Lisa Zeeveld

Fine is not good, and good is not great.

Tricia Sciortino

(3:50) Tricia talks about the reasons that people, including her, have to keep telling people “I’m fine” when they really aren’t.

(4:53) Why is this the typical response?

(8:25) If a woman tells you “I’m fine,” you should probably get her flowers. 

(10:10) Society tells us that if we have problems, then we are a problem, so we mask our struggles. 

(11:54) How should leaders fight against the “I’m fine” mentality?

(14:10) As a leader, using a balance of emotional intelligence and mental fortitude.

(17:17) Our generation is starting to change the landscape of what a good leader looks like. In other words, authenticity and love! 

(18:31) The difficulties men have being authentic because of society’s expectations. 

(19:19) What about the next generation of leaders when it comes to the “I’m fine” response?

(20:41) Leaders need to learn how to lead different generations because they expect different things. 

(21:45) Steps someone can take to stop being an “I’m fine” kind of person. 

(27:02) This week’s one next step: Go get this episode’s activation guide, which is a quiz our team developed with a series of questions to help you reflect on the reasons you may be using the phrase “I’m fine” and how to share more authentically.

Tricia Sciortino:

Guess what guys? I wrote a new book, Rise Up & Lead Well: How Leveraging An Assistant Will Change Your Life & Maximize Your Time. An assistant is the secret weapon you need to level up your leadership in the new year. Someone should be in your corner managing the details so you stay focused on the priorities.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I’ve spent more than a decade at BELAY, a virtual assistant company, and I’ve led VAs, trained them, and even worked as one early in my career. I’ve seen all sides and know the secrets for success. Use my new book to get a clear plan for how to effectively use an assistant. This isn’t fluff, or theory, or inspiration, it’s battle-tested tactics that really work. Find it on Amazon on January 26.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Society tells us that we have to have it all together to be successful, and if we don’t have it all together or if we have problems, we are a problem. So the last thing anybody wants to be is a problem, so we mask and hide all of those pressures so that we have the seemingly exterior appearance like we’ve have it all together. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to be the person to say you’re not those things.

 

Speaker 3:

Welcome to One Next Step, the most practical business podcast in the world; helping you get more done, grow your business, and lead your team with competence with tips and tools you didn’t get in business school. Here are your hosts, Tricia Sciortino and Lisa Zeeveld.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Welcome to One Next Step, the practical business podcast that helps you run your business and make it stop running you, so you can enjoy your work and your life. I’m Tricia Sciortino, the CEO of BELAY.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And I’m Lisa Zeeveld, the COO of BELAY. Together, we are T and LZ. We’ve known each other since 2005 and have worked together for a decade, growing a 100% remote business from startup to being recognized on the Inc. 5000 fastest growing companies list for six years running.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

LZ and I have learned a lot along the way and have made some great friends. For One Next Step, we are inviting them on the podcast to bring you episodes filled with excellent content delivered by some talented people. Today, LZ and I are going to explore the response, “I’m fine.” On average, we say, “I’m fine,” 14 times a week, but only 19% of us actually mean it. So you know what that says? We’re all lying to ourselves and each other.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

You know that experience. You walk by somebody in the hallway, or see somebody on a Zoom call, or you get on the phone with a friend, and you say, “Hey! How are you today?” And what is the instinctual response we hear? “I’m fine. How are you?” And it just repeats. It’s such a common thing to say these days. It’s almost as casual as saying, hello.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Totally. It reminds me of that Friends episode, the one where Ross is just fine. If you’re a fan of the show, you remember that episode very well. Ross finds out his ex-girlfriend and the mother of his daughter is dating his best friend. He responds by continually saying, “I’m fine. Fine.”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

There’s a couple of memes. There are so good memes out there with Ross and his bobblehead saying, “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Totally. Even sweatshirts now. I’ve seen those. His voice only gets louder and squeakier. He tries so hard to prove that he’s happy for them, but it grossly reveals he’s actually not fine at all. I mean, we all say it. I mean, I do this. Sometimes we mean it and sometimes we actually don’t.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Today, we’re going to explore why it’s such a popular response, why society views it even as an acceptable answer, how we and the members of our team have more honest vulnerable relationships, and what we can do when we’re actually not fine.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

All right. T, I’m dying to know, have you ever had a Ross moment? Do you ever feel the need to cover up the truth of how you really are doing and really feeling?

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I mean, yes. I mean, I don’t think we can be honest with ourselves and say… we’re never always fine, right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right. Totally.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

And I’m so looking forward to diving into this conversation, I think there are so many reasons why that is the response that people give. And that’s why I think that this conversation will be fascinating as we kind of talk through it.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

But at the end of the day, I think there’s this stigma about feeling like you have it all together and not letting people know you’re not fine, because what does it mean for you? Does it mean you’re weak? Does it mean you’re being overly sensitive? I mean, whatever the hell those things mean. So it’s all very fascinating. But we all do it. For me, I’ve always had goals to continually less do it, which we’ll talk about, but let’s start off and talk about where did this response become the response.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Number one, I think it’s easy. It’s quick and it’s convenient. I mean, there’s sort of a joke about it. Like you get into an elevator back, when we actually could go places, you get in elevator, perhaps a coworker back in the day, and like, “Hey! How are you doing today?” “I’m fine. I’m fine.” Then there became this joke of, do people actually really care?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

So I think it’s somewhat circumstantial. You’re in the elevator, someone says, “Hey! How you doing today?” “I’m fine.” I mean, you don’t want to say, “Well, today’s not great. My car broke down on the way here, and the baby was fussy, and I don’t know how I’m going to pay my mortgage.”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

You don’t want to be like Debbie Downer. Right out the gate, you be like, “Actually, I suck today.”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right. I think there are circumstances where us asking the question, that we actually don’t want the real answer for it. It’s just more of like a hi, like we said in the intro here. It’s just a starter. And so perhaps we can even do a better job of asking the question. Maybe it’s just, “Hi, good morning,” not, “Hey! How are you?” because we know the is going to be, “Fine,” because you don’t have the space or the time to actually dive into really how somebody is feeling.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

So I think first and foremost, it’s easy, it’s convenient, and we also need to reposition how we’re using that as an intro to start a conversation.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. I love the point that you say, is that we are actually in the habit of soliciting that answer because we’re actually always asking, “How are you?”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So like your natural commentary, and I know, I do this, it’s like, “Hey! How are you? Hi, how are you?” Like we’re always asking that. But to your point, why don’t we just say, “Good morning.” I think we are actually asking somebody a question when we don’t mean to.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Correct. Yes. Yes.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

And so the appropriate thing to do is then to respond with an answer. If you’re in an elevator or whatever, you’re not trying to engage in a conversation. So the response then becomes, “I’m good.”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right. Yeah. Especially if it’s a stranger. I think there’s multiple ways to handle the conversation. If it’s me and you, and you call me and you say, “Hey! How are you doing?” we have that relationship capital that I’m not going to say, “Fine.” I’m actually going to really tell you how I’m feeling in the moment, whether you want to hear it or not.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. That’s what friends are for.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

That’s right. That’s right. But I think that just learning how to have true conversations with strangers or with peers, or being mindful of the environment by which you’re asking it. Saying, “I’m fine, too,” doesn’t allow for follow-up questions because you may not have the time, or you may not want to share it with that person.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so I think it just becomes a way of protecting yourself. Instead of going like I said, like my example is if you get in elevator and someone says, “Hey! How are you today,” and you know that your car broke down, and the baby is sick, and you don’t know how you’re going to pay your mortgage, you don’t want to say all those things and then the person goes, “Oh my gosh! Well, what’s wrong with the baby?” or, “Oh my gosh! What happened to your car this morning?”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

You don’t want to dive into the next layer of that vulnerability. And quite frankly, you may not have the time to do it either. So I think that that’s another aspect of it.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. So it’s certainly where it stems. It’s certainly probably the origin cause of the phrase, “I’m fine.” But in today’s society it’s even gone deeper than that, where you could be with people you know, whether it’s friends, or family or coworkers, who you’re literally having a conversation, and there’s still this I’m fine result that you’re getting from that, especially as women.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, it gives the illusion that everything is okay. And that’s what we’re trying to say is that, “I’m fine. Everything is fine.” I think you can ask any boyfriend or husband, anybody who’s ever been in a relationship with a woman, and they will say that if she answers, “I’m fine,” that is your cue that she’s not.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

You’re in trouble. Go get flowers immediately.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right. You can say, “No, I’m good.” But if you say, “I’m fine,” then no, no, no, that is big red lights out there. That if you hear that, that definitely is something is not fine. I do. I think it just gives the illusion.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

There’s a lot of pressure in today’s society for us to be perfect, and for everything to be okay, and to not share what’s really going on. And so I think that it’s just an easy answer not to go into places that some people actually don’t even want to talk about; lots of hurts, and pains, and our own insecurities of what’s happening.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And like you said, for women it’s difficult. And I know that it’s difficult for men, too. I mean, I always say that when God blessed me with having a son, it really opened my eyes to the insecurities of men as well as women. So it’s just tough. It really is tough, and so “I’m fine,” becomes the mask a lot of times.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. I think to your point, that society tells us that we have to have it all together to be successful, and if we don’t have it all together or if we have problems, we are a problem. And so the last thing anybody wants to be is a problem, so we mask and hide all of those pressures so that we have this seemingly exterior appearance of, “I have it all together. I’m living the perfect life. I’ve got a happy marriage and awesome job. My kids are all awesome.” You know, “I have the white picket fence, and the perfect dog,” and all the things, because that’s what we’re striving to be. And if we don’t have that, what does that say about us? There’s just so much pressure to seem like we’ve have it all together.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I like to say it takes a lot of courage and bravery to be the person to say you’re not those things. The authenticity and courage that it takes for somebody to really, really, first of all, admit to themselves, and then be able to be honest about it with your coworkers, and bosses, and peers, and friends and family to say, “I don’t have it all together. I’m a human. We’re not born, or meant, or created to be perfect. And I have errors and I have hard things going on in my life. And this one area might be working and being so successful, but there’s this other thing over here that’s not great.”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

And I think it takes a lot of courage and strength to be a person that can say and put the shame away and say like, “It’s not great, but I’m doing my thing.” And that’s life. Life is messy, it’s not perfect, and you don’t have to be fine.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Well, what do you think that means for leaders? As a leader, as a CEO of BELAY, how do you feel that needs to be represented as a leader in an organization? I mean, do you feel like so often leaders need to put that veil of, “I’m fine” on? I mean, being a woman on one hand but also being a leader of an organization, I mean, is that true about us, too?

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. I think, there’s a balance. So the first thing is, as a leader, I always want to be relatable. And I feel like if you put on an air of everything is perfect, you become completely unrelatable. People are like, “Man, she’s got every box checked and it’s all perfect. I can’t see myself in her.”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So I think from an influence perspective and just a relatability perspective, I’m actually really comfortable being very vulnerable and authentic about whatever I might be struggling with or whatever I’m not doing well in. I easily admit, “Gosh, home life is really hard. My kids are really struggling with school.”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I’m not trying to pretend that there’s anything, because I think that there is something important about being relatable as an executive or a leader in a business. You want your team to feel like you’re real, and you’re authentic, and you’re not hiding something.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

There is that part that I feel like bring yourself to the table, but there’s also to me, the flip side of that is, it’s like being a captain of a ship. If the ship is going down, you don’t want the captain completely scattered and, “Oh my God,” and, “Everything’s not fine.” You also have to know that you’re driving the ship, you have to be in charge, and you have to know what you’re doing and to have confidence in what you’re doing.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So there’s also this “I’ve got this” mentality. That you have to partner with the, “I’m a messy human, but I have this, and you can rely on me to make the right decisions and do the right things. In that respect, I am fine.” So I think it’s an interesting balance of competency and relatability you’re putting together.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Well, I was going to say emotional intelligence and mental fortitude. I’m a proud daughter and granddaughter of a lot of veterans in multiple military branches, and so I grew up with that like, who was going to take you into battle? And so there’s some of that, that you need to know that your leaders have good mental fortitude and that they have good emotional intelligence.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so I think that there is a part of vulnerability that is good to share, but it’s knowing how much to share and when to share it, because if you’re breaking down over something that’s happening that’s not at the same level of something that might happen in your organization, then your team could go, “Oh, well, he or she broke down about an unsuccessful product. But what happens when there’s a pandemic? Are they going to have the mental fortitude to take me through what’s going to happen in our business in a pandemic or if we need to talk about cashflow that’s differently.”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

I think that you’re right. I think that there is something to being authentic and real, but also having the emotional intelligence to know at what point to share it and how much to share.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Sometimes TMI. That TMI is a thing.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Totally. Yes. Yes, yes. Because I mean, I want to follow strong leaders. Not people who are fake, but people who are strong, and I think that that speaks to that, too. Yeah.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

If you are anything like me, then keeping up with the daily tasks of AR, AP, and account reconciliation are not your favorite things, but you also know how necessary and important it is. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be your thing anymore, BELAY can help.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Numbers are totally my thing, Tricia, and thankfully numbers are BELAY bookkeepers thing, too. Our sponsor, BELAY, believes you deserve top-notch bookkeepers to produce balance sheets, pay bills, reconcile bank and credit card statements, and monthly reports to keep you up to date on the numbers of your organization.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Whether you are a church, nonprofit, or a business, they have the right people ready to help. Talk to their team today, and never lose sleep over your financials again. Get started by visiting belaysolutions.com/services/bookkeepers, today.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So what do you think? Why do we continue to respond with this insincere, “I’m fine”?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. I mean, I think it’s some of this stuff that we talked about before. I think it can be fear of rejection, abandonment, out of shame… mental health right now is a topic in our society that’s starting to be okay to talk about… a little bit about habit and expectation. I think all of those things are really wrapped up together, but I think that we, our generation, is starting to change the landscape of what a good leader looks like.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

If I think back to some great leaders of large Fortune 500, Fortune 100 companies back in the day, they would have never showed an inkling of emotion, or care, or love. It is quite common for us as leaders to say that how much we care about our employees, we want the very best for them, and it’s not about ruling with this iron fist.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so I think in order to be relatable and to encourage our team members, we have to look at this a little bit differently and start to say that it’s okay to share and not focus on the shame of it, or the fear of rejection, or the abandonment, or just the habit and the expectation. It’s retraining yourself not to do that. And so I think we’re really seeing a change, and I’m excited about the change, and hopefully anybody who’s listening feels the encouragement.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

I mean, I know that we are speaking of this, again from a woman’s perspective, but I think it’s probably actually even harder for men to be truthful, because in our society we have really put them that they are, whether they’re the head of the household, or the head of their family, or the head of an organization, and they have to come off as strong and tough.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so I think as women, sometimes we don’t share those things because we don’t want to be seen as less than because we’re already trying so hard to get to the top and be at the top, and for us not to seem as weak. I think men have it the other way. I think that they’re naturally seen as natural-born leaders, and so what would it do for them if they did have a little bit of vulnerability?

 

Tricia Sciortino:

To not show up that way.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes. Yes. And so I think that we both had the same problems, it’s just a result of something differently of how society has trained us to be. And I’m excited for the next generation. I’m excited for my kids, because even in our conversations that we’re having, for those listening I’ve got one in college and one in high school, we have really deep conversations about how even my husband and I think about things and how their generation thinks about things, and the difference already. And so it’s exciting.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Oh yes. Kind of millennials and below, they have a completely different expectation of society, of work, of having purpose and meaning. They don’t accept the “I’m fine”, and they’re not going to be the generation that responds with an “I’m fine” either because they’re growing up under different cultural norms than we grew up. I’m not saying we’re old or anything.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

No. No, we are so young.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Us Gen Xers, I mean, we are so cool.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

We’re so young. So young.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

More mature ladies.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

But yeah, totally. I mean, the up-and-coming younger generations in our society, they’re not going to accept, “I’m fine.” They’re not living their lives that way, they don’t believe in the status quo, and they want more out of life. So I love that for our culture because we’ll start seeing a shift over time of the I’m-finers versus those that don’t accept that kind of happen as that generation grows up.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Well, and I think as leaders, we have to remember that we are leading different generations of people. And so you also need to find a way in order to relate and be able to lead different generations.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so to your point, you probably have some millennials in your organization and your business right now who just automatically expect you to be vulnerable and transparent. And then you’re going to have people who are more of your baby boomers, who don’t really want to know what happened over the weekend.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

They don’t want to talk about it. They don’t care.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

No, they don’t want to care. And so I think it’s also your audience, which goes back to emotional intelligence. You need to know who your audience is, too. True to yourself, first and foremost. You need to be true to you. But I think it is somewhat of a generational thing, too.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. I totally agree. So let’s wrap this beautiful conversation in a bow and let’s maybe talk through some tips for somebody. Like let’s just say you realize that maybe you’re an I’m fine person and you want to be less of that person, you want to be more open and vulnerable, let’s maybe lay out some steps that somebody can take to make a shift in how they communicate.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Well, I think it’s like any habit or goal. You need to start out small. So if you’re not comfortable sharing, maybe start with what you did over the weekend instead of just saying, “I’m fine.” Like, “Oh, how are you?” “Oh, great.” You know, “My weekend, I did this.” Test the waters with the people, in what I would like to say would be your colleagues, your peers, your neighbors, people who aren’t in your inner circle.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

You just want to start and see what you’re comfortable sharing, because what I do know is that once you start with baby steps and you just start sharing a little bit about your life, it becomes a heck of a lot easier to open up into real important things when the audience is right. And that’s my second point is, find an audience where you can be real and you can open up.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

You’re comfortable. Yeah.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Like I said about you. I know that if you ask me how I’m doing, I can tell you how I’m doing, as with several other strong leaders that we have here within our organization, because we have built that relationship capital and I trust them, and it’s comfortable, and I know that I’m not going to be judged. And so I recommend finding those people because that also stretches their muscle, too, for that authenticity, and wait to see how people light up, and what they say and how they respond.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. And I think it even begins with, to your point, like just start with baby steps but give yourself the time. I think a lot of times people maybe don’t have these conversations because they’re hurrying. They don’t have time. They’re hurrying to the next thing.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I know for me as an eight, I organically may limit the length of conversation or what I share with somebody because I’m already thinking about the thing I have to go do right after I’m done talking to you. And for me, mentally, I have to tell myself like, “These conversations, the authenticity is important, so slow the heck down, and take a minute and have a conversation with this person.”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So I think for some of us, the driven leader, who’s has a to-do list a mile long and is trying to accomplish everything in the world, sometimes you just need space and permission to give yourself and say, “I’m going to put buffers in room in my day so that I can actually have meaningful conversation. And I can’t have the excuse that says, ‘I’m busy. I have a meeting I got to get to.'”

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So I would say make some time, start with baby steps, start with your close circle that you’re comfortable with, and then ask for help if you can’t from there.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, totally. And you know what I would also say, too is, don’t manufacture anything if everything is okay. The whole idea is that you should have seasons in your life where things are great, and answer, “I’m great.” Don’t be ashamed when things are going really, really well.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

But I love the fact that you said, “Take the time for the conversation,” because here’s what I also know is that, just because things are great for you… so if you have somebody that says, “Hey! How are you?” and you’re like, “I’m great,” pause and say, “But how are you?” And then if they share something that they’re going through that’s hard, allow the time to then relate to them and have that conversation because I also know that we crave that as people, we crave a deeper connection.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And I think this is what it is about for me is it’s about having that deeper connection, where when things are great you have people to celebrate with you, but on the other side when things aren’t great that you feel comfortable sharing that and really having somebody to listen. That, in general, will make us a greater society and a greater culture, and have an amazing business at the end of the day.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yes. For sure. Absolutely. And you tie it all in a bow. One last comment. I love this conversation. But my one last comment, even about the I’m fine is, don’t accept it from your clients either.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Oh yes. Good point. Yeah.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

That could be a whole another episode, client experience.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Future episode.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Future episode right there. Yeah.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

If you are calling your client and asking how your services are, “How are you? Are you satisfied with our service?” and they say, “I’m fine,” dig deeper because they’re not fine.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

What made me think of that was just you saying you might be great, and somebody else may not be and they might say they’re fine, but then dig into that, read the undertone. Read between the lines, because sometimes you can tell when somebody says they’re fine and they’re not.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

And the same thing goes for business. You can totally take this whole thing and carry it into your client experience and say, if somebody says, “Oh yeah, it’s good.” Good is not great. And so fine is not good, and good is not great, and we want to be great, so it requires us digging deep. So that’s what I would end it all on is digging deep in relationships, and digging deep sometimes means asking more questions.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Man, what a great conversation, T, but it is time for the One Next Step. As the most practical business podcast, we want to make sure taking action is easy. So with each episode, we’re going to offer you one next step to propel you forward.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Today’s next step is to access this episode’s activation guide, which is a quiz our team developed to help you evaluate your communication skills. This quiz is a series of questions to help you reflect on the reasons you may be using the phrase, “I’m fine,” and how to share more authentically.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I love it. I love authenticity. So to download the guide now, text the phrase “One Next Step” to 31996, or visit onenextsteppodcast.com. When you request today’s guide, you’re also going to receive a summary of today’s episode, which will include key quotes, takeaways, and links to resources.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Well, thank you so much for listening to this episode of One Next Step. We hope you’ve enjoyed what you’re hearing from us, and now we want to hear from you. Head on over to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast and leave us a review. We’ve created this podcast to help you lead your team and grow your business, so we read every one of them.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Until next time, own your journey. It’s your life and your business. It’s up to you to create the life and organization you want. Join us next week for more practical tips and actionable tools to advance your business, one step at a time. Start by making today count.

 

Speaker 3:

Thanks for listening to One Next Step. Be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, or follow us on Spotify, then join us next time for more practical business tips and tools to help you get more done, grow your business, and lead your team with confidence. For more episodes, show notes, and helpful resources, visit onenextsteppodcast.com.

Check out this week’s episode activation guide, a quiz our team developed to help you evaluate how honest you’re being with yourself and others. This 60-second quiz will help you determine if you’re actually fine or if it’s time you give yourself permission to ask for the help you deserve and so desperately need.

 

Download Now

 

In each episode, we highlight one next step for you and provide an activation or delegation guide to help you immediately take action, start applying what you learn, and get your team to help you.

Subscribe Today!

To get practical business tips and tools delivered to you each week, subscribe to the podcast via email here or on your favorite podcast platform (which we’ve listed below).  It’s like DVR for podcasts.

 

Subscribe using your favorite podcast app via

Join Us Next Week

Thank you for listening to One Next Step.

Next week Jeff Henderson, a sought-after speaker, author, and business leader, will join us to discuss an issue leaders sometimes fail to focus on: What are the true needs of our customers? How can we meet them where they are? And the biggest concept: why doing good is just plain good business.”