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Marriage & Entrepreneurship: How to Properly Engage Your Spouse in Your Business

Download the Buckley’s newest guide, the 2021 Marriedpreneur Checklist. These 10-questions will get you and your spouse focusing on the key systems necessary for your growth and create traction quickly.

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About This Episode

Your spouse will eventually feel the ups and downs of your business — whether you work together as co-owners or whether your spouse is completely uninvolved in the day-to-day. So how can you make sure your spouse is involved in your business in a healthy way? 

 

In today’s episode, Lisa talks with O.L. and Sway Buckley, hosts of the super popular MarriedPreneur Life podcast, about how to properly engage your spouse in your business. They have been down this road and have years of wisdom to offer us. 

1. If one of you is called to be an entrepreneur, then your family is called as well.

That doesn’t mean your spouse has to be in the daily grind of the business, but it does mean you need to figure out what their level of input and availability is – and what that looks like for your relationship. Your business will affect your whole family, so make sure your significant other is involved to the degree that makes them comfortable.

2. Where there is weigh in, there is buy in.

When you give an uninvolved spouse a degree of buy in, that builds value down the road. They feel important and appreciated. Even if they don’t have anything to add, they need to know that they have access and always have the option to give their input. They might have a different skill set and see things completely different than you do, so it’s important for them to feel comfortable sharing. 

3. The first rule of working with your spouse: No talking about working on date nights!

Set rules for your nights out. You’ve paid for a babysitter and have time for relaxing, so keep work out of the discussion. Plan ahead on what you’re going to talk about that doesn’t involve business. Get to know your spouse better, ask questions about their past and future, and talk to them about how they’ve changed. The key is to be intentional about learning about your spouse outside of their business life.

 

Is your spouse currently involved in your work?  If so, how do you keep the business separate from your relationship? If not, how do you make sure they are involved?
What do you think a healthy relationship looks like for two spouses who work together?
What do you think a healthy relationship looks like for someone who runs a business with a spouse who is uninvolved?
What are some basic principles that should be followed for two spouses who are considering working together?

Wherever there’s weigh-in there’s buy-in.

O.L. Buckley

The first step is understanding your marriage mission and your business vision and combining those together.

Sway Buckley

If one of you is called to entrepreneurship, then the family is called to entrepreneurship.

Sway Buckley

Be clear about what you are building. Are you just trying to build great, profitable businesses, or are you actually building out a family legacy?

O.L. Buckley

If you’re not growing together you’re growing apart.

Sway Buckley

(02:40) Where did both of the Buckleys find an example of what a great marriage should look like?

(05:54) How do the Buckleys characterize entrepreneurs who work with their spouses and those with uninvolved spouses?

(08:35) What are best practices for individuals running a business with a spouse who isn’t involved?

(14:50) You should never keep anything from your spouse, even in business and entrepreneurship. 

(15:58) You don’t need to come home and dump everything on your spouse, but your spouse needs to know that they have access to know what’s going on if they want to. 

(16:31) “Indiepreneurs” deal with the potential to become “roommates” where you’re just splitting the bills and swapping war stories – so how do you prevent that?

(19:40) What does the “couplepreneurs” relationship look like and what is their red flag?

(21:31) How can date night not become work night in that type of relationship?

(24:56) Accountability can sometimes cause conflict. What are some rules a couple should have when it comes to conflict within a business?

(29:10) The Buckleys talk about their Marriedpreneur operating system – which you can find at marriedpreneurlife.com. 

(30:24) What is something someone could do almost immediately to begin creating an entrepreneurship and a life with their spouse that would both honor God and their family?

(35:35) This week’s download: The Buckley’s 2021 Marriedpreneur Checklist.

OL Buckley:

One of the things that we often talk about as a best practice is, is that wherever there’s weigh-in, there’s buy-in. And so while the spouse may not work the business or work in the business, it’s okay to bring home certain aspects, opportunities, or challenges and say, “Hey, here’s something that I’m dealing with within the business, and I wanted to get your perspective.”

Announcer:

Welcome to One Next Step, the most practical business podcast in the world, helping you get more done, grow your business, and lead your team with confidence, with tips and tools you didn’t get in business school. Here are your hosts, Tricia Sciortino and Lisa Zeeveld.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Welcome to One Next Step, the practical business podcast that helps you run your business so it stops running you. I’m Lisa, also known as LZ, and my cohost Tricia is out of the office today, so I’m running this place all by myself. But today’s episode, I have two great friends, OL and Sway Buckley, and they’re going to talk to us about how to properly engage your spouse in your business.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Your spouse will eventually feel the ups and downs of your business, even if they’re not involved, right? So how can you make sure your spouse is involved, but in a very healthy way? As successful married entrepreneurs and hosts of the super-popular Marriedpreneur Life podcast, OL and Sway Buckley have been down this road and have years of wisdom to offer us today. So let’s settle in and find out what they have to say.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Well, welcome, welcome, welcome, Sway and OL. I am so excited that you are here with us today, with me today. I do not have my partner in crime, and so boohoo. I’m a little bit sad. But I have actually had the incredible honor of being on your podcast, and so I feel like we are friends-

Sway Buckley:

Yes.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

OL Buckley:

Absolutely.

Lisa Zeeveld:

And no doubt, we are going to be able to knock this out of the park today. I’m looking forward to you sharing so many good nuggets with our married listeners out there who are probably struggling with some of the things that you guys are now experts at.

Sway Buckley:

Oh, well, thank you. We’re working at it.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah.

OL Buckley:

Experts in training, right?

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right, right, exactly. I know the feeling. I know the feeling. Well, one of the things I love to do when we first have our guest on is just a little icebreaker so that people can feel like they get to know you on a more fun side than being all serious. So not that this is like funny ha-ha, but I think this is a great place to start. And this is to both of you, so I want two separate answers. Who would you consider to be your example, or where did you find the example of what a great marriage should look like?

Sway Buckley:

Where did I find?

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, or who? Was it like a particular couple? Was it like a resource you leaned into?

Sway Buckley:

Both. I would definitely say for me, of course, I’ve had mentors that I’ve seen live it out as well as, first and foremost, Biblically I’ve seen like how, “Oh, so a husband’s supposed to love his wife like this. Oh, okay, so a wife is supposed to respond like this or just be wise in this way and be patient in this way.” So just understanding what that model looks like, for me, ultimately is going to be Biblically, but then seeing it lived out. I’ve had just quite a few mentors that I’ve been able to watch along the way. Ironically, my parents divorced very young. I was two, but they were best of friends all of my childhood, so that was great. But as far as seeing it lived out, I’ve had lots of good friends who’ve had parents who have allowed me to watch them up close in person. So that’s been a big influence in my life.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Well, sometimes I feel like the examples, like you were talking about your parents are great examples of maybe what not to do or what to change, right?

Sway Buckley:

Yes. Yes.

Lisa Zeeveld:

So good sometimes and bad sometimes, or maybe not the expected outcome, right?

Sway Buckley:

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

OL Buckley:

Yeah. Great question, by the way. So for me, it would be… I have one example outside of the home and one example in the home. And let me start off by saying that my parents, my biological parents were never married, so that automatically kind of instilled a what not to do, right?

Lisa Zeeveld:

Sure.

OL Buckley:

So that was great for me. But also the early church that I grew up in, I watched how the pastor of the church, as far as I could tell at least publicly, interacted with his wife within the life of that community. And so that was exemplary for me. But also I would say that when my mom got married, my stepdad, as it were, he really modeled that very, very well for me, and I gleaned a lot from observing and watching him. So I had a in-the-home example as well as another out-the-home example.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. I love that. I love that. I think that for me and when I do mentoring, I always like to use real-life examples. I think that as humans and sharing the same creator and knowing how much he wants community, that he puts people in our lives that we can model after, a very similar self-efficacy, right? Like, it’s just somebody. And so I think it’s important for us to have those good and perhaps not the best examples for us to lean into, to kind of build our life after. So those are great.

Sway Buckley:

Absolutely.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Today I want to kind of focus a little bit on two groups, and that is those entrepreneurs who are in business with their spouse, and the other side of it is those entrepreneurs who are going on this journey with their spouse. I’m going to give you guys a second here, because I know that you have some great titles for those. So why don’t you share with our listeners kind of how you categorize those two different relationships?

Sway Buckley:

Sure. Well, I’ll start off with the top. We pretty much divided them into three categories from what we’ve experienced over the years. We’re like, “Oh, wow, we’re just seeing the same types of married couples over and over again.” So the first type that we personally were when we got married were spousal-preneurs, and that’s where one of us was working the nine-to-five and the other was actually operating the business.

Sway Buckley:

And then there are the other type. The next type is the indie-preneurs. So the indie-preneurs is when both spouses in the business run businesses. They are entrepreneurs, but they run individual, separate businesses.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Got you.

Sway Buckley:

And then there’s the couple-prenuer. The couple-prenuer is where both spouses run and operate the same business together. So you can be a combination of those, and we’ve also realized that people are… Couples often are like transitioning from one to the next. They may be spousals, but they want to be couple. So that’s where we come in with helping with those systems to put them in place.

OL Buckley:

And sometimes they can be two out of those three. So when we were initially married, I… As she just said, Sway said, we were spousal-preneurs, but then there came a point where we became indie-preneurs. But then there became a point where we were indie-preneurs and couple-preneurs, which is actually what we are today.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Oh, got you.

OL Buckley:

So we’re two. They all have their unique dynamics and things to watch out for, but they also have their unique advantages as well.

Sway Buckley:

Yes.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Sure, sure. Yeah. And I love that. I just love how you broke it down because I do think, again, we’re complex beings and we have complex relationships. And part of that is complexity in how we work and how we create businesses.

Sway Buckley:

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Lisa Zeeveld:

So let’s touch a little bit on kind of what you call the spousal-preneur. So this is an individual who may have his or her own business, but then you have a spouse who is a W2 or perhaps is already retired or maybe staying at home with the kids or other family members. What are some best practices? Because I’ve been in that situation before, and believe it or not, I’m a little headstrong. I know that’s probably a surprise.

Sway Buckley:

No.

Lisa Zeeveld:

But I had a hard time not sort of injecting myself in my husband’s business. So I’m just curious, what are the things that you see for those individuals who are running a business and that spouse is not involved in it? What’s some best practices there?

Sway Buckley:

Well, I will say this first. I feel like you have something to say. I just feel it coming. So let me get it in real quick, and then I’m going to let you jump in. First, I think it’s important to be clear on what the goal is because you can have multiple spousal-preneur couples and they can all have different goals, which means then the next step needs to be different. So that best practice, I think it’s really going to depend on what their goal is together. So is their goal to remain spousal-preneurs, or is their goal to eventually become couple-preneurs, or what is that goal? And I think that makes a difference on how you move forward. But were you going to interject whatever you want to interject right there?

OL Buckley:

Sure, sure.

Sway Buckley:

Okay.

OL Buckley:

So I think it obviously starts with goals, as Sway just outlined, and that’s going to be foremost and making sure that that’s clear between the two of you. But also, I would say that because there’s a tendency to want to compartmentalize and assume that, let’s say, whoever’s the one that’s running the business, driving the business, sometimes there’s this assumption that nobody else in the house sort of wants to hear about it. Maybe my spouse doesn’t really want to hear about it, or maybe the assumption is that they don’t really care about it. But I think it’s important to not compartmentalize in such a way that the spouse who’s not in the business feels disconnected, isolated, or perhaps even invaluable or I should say not valuable to the business.

OL Buckley:

So one of the things that we often talk about as a best practice is, is that wherever there’s weigh-in, there’s buy-in. And so while the spouse may not work the business or work in the business, it’s okay to bring home certain aspects, opportunities, or challenges and say, “Hey, here’s something that I’m dealing with within the business, and I wanted to get your perspective. I know you don’t work in the business. I know you may not understand this industry, but what are your thoughts about this just in general?”

OL Buckley:

And what happens is, is then by simply doing that, the spouse who’s not in the business automatically feels valued, feels engaged. And even if they say, “You know what? That’s above my head. I’m not even really sure,” the very fact that you went through the exercise of giving them the opportunity to have weigh-in is going to more than likely cause that spouse to have buy-in. And that buy-in is going to serve you well down the road as you continue to build.

Sway Buckley:

Yeah. And I will also say this too, if I may. We’ve realized there are also very specific red flags for each of those married-prenuer types, and you just kind of reminded me of that. So for those spousal-preneurs, that red flag that we often see that they deal with-

OL Buckley:

Is what we call running mates. Now, this kind of puts you in the mindset of a campaign, but here’s the point. Sometimes the spouse whose name is at the bottom of the ticket, if I can use that way of saying it, can sometimes feel like they don’t have a voice or perhaps even be able to contribute. And so it’s important that they have some sense of value-add. It doesn’t even have to be of a technical nature. It could be whatever their skill set or competence is that they can even offer some insight to that, whatever that may be.

Sway Buckley:

Yeah, yeah.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Well, and again, I know that we share the same passion, in that we want healthy marriages, right?

OL Buckley:

Yes.

Sway Buckley:

Yes.

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so could it be a thing that even if, going back to that buy-in part, is that even if your spouse who’s not in the business, perhaps not working or having that W2 job, that you create a transparency for that entrepreneur to know that there’s just somebody to lean into? Because I think so often entrepreneurship is lonely.

Sway Buckley:

Yes.

Lisa Zeeveld:

And when you don’t feel like you can come home, in my sense, to your best friend and be like, “Today was hard. I have these big celebrations,” that that can really start to create a divide in just your marriage in and of itself, because you’re starting to keep things from each other, which I don’t… I’ve never met a couple that that’s worked for.

OL Buckley:

Right, right.

Sway Buckley:

It never ends well. One of the things that we definitely stand on and this truth is that if one of you is called to entrepreneurship, then the family is called to entrepreneurship. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that both of you have to be working directly in the business, but that business will ultimately impact your marriage. And so being able to understand like, well, where does this fit in our family-building or our legacy-building? Like, what does this actually look like, and what part does this play as we grow together, as we age together? Because if you’re not growing together, you’re going to be growing apart. There’s no in between. You know?

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah.

Sway Buckley:

So I think it’s so important to just be, as you’ve mentioned, just transparent in that and making sure that it’s not this separate thing per se. Like, it’s nothing that it’s, “I’m doing this alone,” but even if I may be the quote-unquote face of the business, knowing that my spouse is there to support and to encourage and to give insight where available, that right there, it goes a very long way. It goes a lot longer. It goes a lot further than many give credit for. And so just being able to do it together in that sense.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Now, would you agree… This I’m probably going to have some listeners who are like, “Ooh, I don’t agree with you.” So I’m curious if you’re going to agree with me. I also don’t think that you should keep anything from your spouse.

Sway Buckley:

Oh, no. Yeah.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, okay. Yeah. I think it’s a given, but I think that’s one of the things that starts to tear people apart. So when you talk about your goals and your business-building, it’s that there’s no real lines of what you’re not sharing.

Sway Buckley:

I love that.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Like, you’re sharing everything with each other, and that includes your entrepreneurship journey.

Sway Buckley:

Yeah.

OL Buckley:

Absolutely.

Sway Buckley:

Why did you get married? It’s full transparency. You know what I mean? You made a decision. You’ve made a covenant to become one. You’re one now. You’re one. And the moment you decide, intentionally decide to keep information from your spouse, I mean, whether it’s business or anything, it just doesn’t end well. It doesn’t end well.

OL Buckley:

Yeah, I think that can come in a certain way, right? So sometimes I’ll… Okay, so I would imagine perhaps an entrepreneurial spouse is thinking, “Well, I don’t want to come home and always feel like I’m dumping on my spouse.”

Sway Buckley:

Yeah.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Sure, yeah.

OL Buckley:

I think there’s a nuance that could perhaps be clarified, and that is it may not be that we come home and just lay it all out for them sort of at our own whim and will, but it could be a thing where it’s abundantly clear to our spouse that they have access to know.

Sway Buckley:

Yes, I think that’s true. Yeah.

OL Buckley:

So I think that’s the communication part. “Listen, you have access to know, and I want you to know, but I want you to have access to know.”

Sway Buckley:

Yeah. That’s great.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. Oh, I love that. That’s good. That’s good, the access part. Yeah, that’s really good. Okay. So let’s now go… I feel like some of those same principles could work with our indie-preneurs, right? Again, the communication part of it. So what is different? Oh, you looked at me-

Sway Buckley:

Yeah, I was going to say the red flag, though, for the indie-preneurs, so it’s different from the spousal-preneurs. And the indie-preneurs, they often deal with-

OL Buckley:

Yeah, this is what we call… So for the spousal-preneur, it was the running-mate threat, if you will. Then for the indie-preneur, it’s the potential to become like roommates, where all you’re doing is splitting the bills and swapping war stories.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Okay. So, okay, totally off script here, but how do you prevent that?

OL Buckley:

Yeah. The answer is very similar to the first one. Again, where there’s weigh-in, there’s buy-in. And you want your spouse to know that, “Hey, I get that you have a completely separate business that you’re running and that you’re driving and me as well, but neither of us is married to our business. We’re married to each other.”

Sway Buckley:

I think that’s right.

OL Buckley:

That being said, that being said, I think it’s important to know that we can take on the sense of consultants for one another. And that doesn’t have to be technical industry consulting. That could just be emotional consulting. “Hey, I ran into an issue like this. Have you had this experience in your business? If so, how did you handle it or get through it?” And when you do that, then both of you feel as if, once again, your insight is valued, but really your intimacy. And by that, I just simply mean heart to heart, mind to mind. Really that connection point that, “Hey, I need you if this is going to work.” But even sort of larger than that, going back to Sway’s earlier point, is what are we building? Are we just trying to build great, profitable businesses, or are we actually building out a family legacy, which then these businesses are just those underpinnings to that bigger end?

Tricia Sciortino:

You are working too many hours, and it’s bleeding over into your evenings and weekends. You are missing valuable family time, and honestly, life is zipping by you. Sound familiar? Let’s get uncomfortably honest here. How long has it been since you were fully present and felt peace? It’s probably too long. You know how I know? Because I’ve been there.

Lisa Zeeveld:

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Lisa Zeeveld:

So another group now that has it hard because maybe there’s not a lack of information, maybe it’s too much information, and that would be the couple-preneurs that are in the business trying to run it together. Bless anybody who’s doing a startup together. They need extra prayers if that is you out there. I’m going to add you to my prayer list. So what does that look like, and how do we make sure that they stay together and there’s not this wedge in their relationship?

Sway Buckley:

Well, yeah, the couple-preneurs is a little different with their red flags. So their red flag is really to prevent becoming cellmates, whereas all they do is like they’re handcuffed to the business, and all they do is talk about the business. They cannot not talk about the business or not do the business or not think about the business. Date nights turn into work nights.

OL Buckley:

Work 2.0.

Sway Buckley:

Yes.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Work dates.

Sway Buckley:

Yes. So everything is about the business, and that’s an issue because then it’s like your marriage becomes lost in the business. A lot easier, I would say, because you’re doing that together. And it could be to talk more about the business, the connection more about the business versus you are actually being married at the core.

OL Buckley:

Yeah. And can I add to that? Here’s the subtlety of that. The assumption could be that because we are building this together, that we are nurturing our marriage simultaneously, but that’s not necessarily the case, because if the business is consuming the two of you, then you’re really not building your marriage. You’re just both on lockdown to the business. And at that point, as I often say, the tail is wagging the dog.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, yeah. So how would you suggest that date night does not become work night, because I’m running it through the lens of even just parenting, right? That’s hard. When you sit down, especially young parents. You think the kids are with the babysitter, and you sit down, and then the meal comes, and you’re looking at your phone, “Is the babysitter going to call?” It’s so totally distracting. And I think business would be the same. So any tips or tricks that you guys have learned?

Sway Buckley:

Yeah, absolutely. This is what we try to work on each day. Every day is a little different, though. But when it comes to date nights for us, we have to just be very intentional, right? So we have very clear. It’s a system for us. Everything, not everything, but we try to systematize a lot of things. So when it comes to even date nights, having systems built in around that to protect, barricade our marriage from the business, especially on date nights. So there are certain rules that we have in place. Like, we’re not going to talk about business tonight, right? So that means we need to have other triggers. So we don’t allow ourselves to even get to that place. So we need to plan in advance. Okay. What are we going to talk about on our date night tonight? What are we going to do?

Sway Buckley:

So there have been times when I go online and I’m Googling just even conversation topics on how to get to know your spouse better and just things that you can ask your spouse about their upbringing, or how they’re doing, or if they like this or don’t like that, or has this changed with them? Just over time, we all change. And so just being very intentional about learning your spouse and about growing together. This is totally outside of the business. And I would say that it did feel very formal initially. It felt weird. It felt awkward. “Wait a minute. I feel like we need to be more responsible and talk about business now.”

Sway Buckley:

So also having in place a type of wind-down system for yourselves individually each day is important for us. So mentally, emotionally we can unplug from the business, thinking about it, and saying, “Okay, now we’re going to be on a date. Like, we’re going to either go somewhere or change locations or not,” but just making sure that we have something else in place to preoccupy our minds. Otherwise, we’re going to go to our default. So we’ve been there.

Sway Buckley:

And then we hold each other accountable. We have to hold each other accountable when either one of us, it even sounds anything remotely close to business. Like, “Before you finish that thought, is this a business thought? Is this a business conversation? Are we sliding into business?” Sometimes maybe like, “Oh, my bad. Thank you. Let me talk about something else.” Or sometimes okay, now we’ll say, “Okay, this is not business, but I did want to ask you about such and such. But I’m not asking you about the business part. I’m asking you about the relationship over it.” So we have to really be clear about that.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, no, I like that you keep each other accountable. That’s important because especially if you created a business, which hopefully most people do, that they love and they’re passionate about, it’s hard not to think about it all the time and it’s hard not to talk about it. And especially if you’re building a business that’s going to be a legacy business where you want to get your children and your grandchildren involved in someday, the excitement around that, I think, can definitely overshadow just you time, us time during those date nights.

Sway Buckley:

Absolutely.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Of course, you did bring up a good topic, though. You said that you have to keep each other accountable, and sometimes accountability can cause a little bit of conflict.

Sway Buckley:

Yes. This is true. This is true.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes. Just like decision-making in a couple-preneur relationship can also cause a little bit of conflict. Are there certain rules that a couple should have when it comes to conflict within the business?

Sway Buckley:

Yeah. So we have something called the, It’s our Marriedprenuer Method. The Marriedprenuer Method was really birthed out of us needing systems. Once my husband left the bank and just launching out on his own, it was like I was already an entrepreneur. So I’m like, “Well, you need to make sure you have this in place and this in place.” And I’m like, “Well, I don’t want to be a nagging wife. I feel like I’m nagging, and I’m tired of my own self. So what can I do to not nag him, but hold him accountable at the same time?” So this is where these systems came in, where we would have like check-in meetings, but now we call them legacy meetings. And we have a whole system in place where we do this monthly, weekly, quarterly, annually, of course.

Sway Buckley:

Now with that, though, in that Marriedpreneur Method, we get clear. Like, the first step is really understanding what your married-prenuer vision is, getting very clear on that. So it’s your marriage mission and your business vision and combining those together. And then after that, the next thing is really to be clear on your communication styles in business, because oftentimes in business, that is going to be a little different than outside of business.

Sway Buckley:

So there’s some different communication styles that we dive into, but just making sure that we are… Because we know we’re very different in a lot of places. And so just making sure that, for me, that I am honoring my husband. Even if we’re working together, you may be a coworker, but you’re my husband first. So that took me a minute to learn. Like, he had to really explain like, “I’m not on your payroll, right?” “Okay, I understand. Just get to the point.” I’m pretty direct. And he’s like, “No, no, no, no, no. I’m your husband.” I’m like, “Okay. So teach me how to do this.” So just going through that, understanding what your communication styles are in business and how to respect and honor one another through that.

Sway Buckley:

And then the next step, the third of the fifth, is your gifts and graces. And just being very clear on your gifts and what you’re graced to do in this season and knowing, okay, if these are my gifts and this is what I’m graced to do in this season, then this is where I should really be focusing and what this looks like in the business.

Sway Buckley:

The next step ties in your gifts and graces into profitability, which is what we call wealth roles. And so the wealth roles is really the part that I think you were asking about, is understanding what part we play in the business. And we are pretty strategic with understanding what our gifts and graces are and what those areas are that tie directly to profitability in the business. So we try to stay in our own wealth roles. Whenever we get out of our lane, it doesn’t go well. And so just making sure as we make decisions based on those wealth roles, that would really determine who makes what decision. And then we come to each other, “Okay, this is what I decided based on this being my wealth role. This is what I’m good at. This is what I think. What do you think?” Right? That doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t have input, but just being clear on who is the principal. There always needs to be a principal for each item to make sure that that gets done.

Sway Buckley:

And then lastly, optimizing time. So just having systems in place to make sure that we are working well and diligently when it’s time to work. So we’re focused, but then we’re also resting well. We’re also taking a day, a week to really just rest and enjoy each other, and then, of course, our date nights too. But all of that really requires systematizing for each of us individually, but then together bringing it together to make sure that we are flowing on the same page.

Lisa Zeeveld:

I love that. I love that. So I’m going to give you a chance here because I think that’s a lot of information, and I’d love for every listener, we’ll tell it again in the show notes. Where can our listeners go to get more information about those five steps?

Sway Buckley:

Yes. Those fives steps are actually a part of, that Marriedpreneur Method is a part of a larger system that we’ve created, which is called the Marriedpreneur Operating System. So we realized over the years, we’ve been creating all these different systems, and we want to have a hub for them. So the hub can be found on our website. Well, we have a checklist actually. So married entrepreneurs can use it as a checklist or their own marriage legacy systems as well as their marketplace business systems. And that’s over on our website at marriedpreneurlife.com.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you, because I know our listeners are probably driving right now. They’re on the treadmill, and they wanted to write all that goodness down and they couldn’t. So I’m glad you did that. Well, we like to think that we’re the most practical business podcast in the world. So we always love to leave our listeners with something that they could maybe implement immediately, get off the treadmill, park their car and start doing.

Lisa Zeeveld:

So thinking about entrepreneurs who are embarking on this for the first time. Maybe 2020 was the catalyst for them with the pandemic. So many people did that. I’m surprised when I look at the SBA stats, their statistics. So what is something that they could do pretty immediately to start creating an entrepreneurship and a life with their spouse that would ultimately be honoring to God and honoring to their family?

Sway Buckley:

Yes.

OL Buckley:

Yes.

Sway Buckley:

We both want to answer. Well, you can answer, and then I’ll answer too. We’ll see if we say the same thing.

OL Buckley:

I think sometimes when we launch out into our entrepreneurship journey, we make assumptions and kind of we deal with things in a very ambiguous way, especially if we’ve come from other work experiences. One of the things that was very helpful for me, that I would encourage anyone who is starting out on building this journey, is to get a piece of paper and take inventory of what ways you’ve excelled in other businesses or companies you’ve worked for in the past. A lot of times, we don’t assess our skill set. We assume our skill sets. And so I think it’s important to take inventory, because then that’s going to be the beginning of how you can start to shape what you will do in a very real and practical way without you getting outside of your core competencies. So I would say take inventory of what it is that you do well and have been recognized for doing well in the past.

Sway Buckley:

That’s good. That’s really good. I would also say one of the first things that we ended up doing together that really has helped us throughout these several years is implement our daily legacy meetings. And we do those, we can do it in about 10 minutes, and we’ve timed it before. So it doesn’t require a lot of time at all. I know sometimes people are like, “Oh my goodness, meetings, more meetings!” No, this really is, I would say, like a roadmap for the day, a roadmap for your legacy, to make sure that you all are on the same page, the same path, and really are intentional about the capacity that you have for that day. And making sure that you’re using your resources, your energy, your focus, your drive, your time in a way that is going to move you forward. It really requires that level of intentionality.

Sway Buckley:

So within that legacy meeting, it can be super, super simple. Just for starters, just being clear about your top three for the day, making sure that you’re accountable with one another, like those wins that you want to have. But also with that, asking one another, “Okay, how can I support you today?” Right? And then maybe, “How can I pray for you today? You’re my spouse. What do you need help with?I want to help you how I can.” And it may be something that you didn’t even think about before they said it. So making sure that they’re clear on that.

Sway Buckley:

And then at the end of the day, we don’t necessarily do it as a formal meeting. But we do ask ourselves at the beginning of the day, “Okay, what time are we stopping today? So what time are we stopping?” Because depending on what season we’re in, they may be longer days than not. But we need to make sure that we’re on the same page, so then once again, we can hold ourselves accountable. So if we say 5:00, usually he’ll come in here, “Okay, it’s 4:45. I need about 20 more minutes. You good with that?” “I’m good with that.” Just making sure that we’re communicating.

Sway Buckley:

And then at the end of the day, checking back in with each other. “Okay, how did your three go? What did you need help with?” Just making sure that we’re connected in that way, and then we’re supporting each other and then holding each other accountable too. So I guess I would say that’s a part A and part B for me. That has helped us tremendously.

Lisa Zeeveld:

I love that. I love that. Such great nuggets today, guys. Thank you so much for sharing. I know that this really, I mean, hits every single person out there. And even if they are in a position where they are an executive leader and they’re listening right now and perhaps they’re not an entrepreneur or fall into one of those other categories, this is just great life lessons on how to have a great marriage. So thank you both so much for sharing your time and just sharing your knowledge with us today. I really appreciate it.

Sway Buckley:

Thank you for having us. It’s been amazing. Amazing.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, thank you.

OL Buckley:

Excited to be here. Glad to do it. Thank you.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Thank you so much.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Well I loved having a Buckley‘s on today’s episode it was so phenomenal and you guys know I always love to give you a take away. For me I’ve got a couple and the first one is I love how they were able to put some language around titling the different roles that you and your spouse may have in your entrepreneurship journey.

Lisa Zeeveld:

You know you have your you know you’re inde-preneurs you have your a couple-preneurs right, you know you have those who are spousal-preneurs, I think that’s just really great sometimes to put language around the journey that you are getting into and I love the fact that they said make sure you give your spouse access, not that you always want the access, but it’s just nice knowing that you have access to it.

Lisa Zeeveld:

There was so much goodness in today’s episode I know you’re gonna probably go back and re-listen to it I am actually gonna do the same thing but I do have a download good for you and that’s got great information to. This weeks download is the newest guide from the Buckley‘s it’s the 2021 Marriedprenuer checklist, now they told her you can find that on their website at marriedpreneurlife.com, but you know you can always get our resources at onenextsteppodcast.com and you can also text the phrase one next step to 31996. Thank you so much for joining us today please tune in next week for another fabulous episode of one next stop start by making today count.

Lisa Zeeveld:

Check out next weeks episode when we’re going to have Jen Barden our director of finance here at the BELAY with our very own Amy Appelton Director of marketing. Jen will share with Amy why it’s so important to have a bookkeeper on your team and what you should tackle first. Here’s a sneak peek into their conversation.

Jen Barden:

Bookkeepers should be communicating weekly with their clients, and I know that clients often get a bookkeeper and they think “ok I don’t want to have to worry about this any more,” but really they should be keeping in touch, they should be going over reports on a monthly basis making sure that they’re reviewing everything that a keeper does.

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