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About This Episode

We’ve all met people or heard stories of people who were the best in their field — earned lots of money, helped lots of people, and received lots of praise, but we later discover that their personal life was in shambles or they were burdened by depression. Every business leader listening to this podcast knows there is a psychological price associated with being in charge. Inc. Magazine once referred to as “the downside of being up.”

 

Today, we’re going to learn tips and strategies to make sure your success at work adds to, not subtracts from, your life. We’ll be joined by Anthony Flynn – the founder of Amazing CEO and the CEO of The WorkFaith Connection. Anthony is talking with us about how to align your career with your life so it adds joy and fulfillment.

 

Your One Next Step

Go download this episode’s activation guide, Chapter One of The Happiness Map: Finding Fulfillment in Life and Work written by our guest Anthony Flynn and licensed therapist Dr. Emily Shupert. Research reveals that happiness is an elusive thing—but it doesn’t have to be. Your work and life can truly be meaningful and fulfilling. In The Happiness Map, you’ll learn the 4 x 4 Happiness Model based on research, case studies, and the authors’ real-life stories. If you want an actionable, proven plan for finding fulfillment in work and life, download this resource today.

 

Learn More

 

In each episode, we highlight one next step for you and provide an activation or delegation guide to help you immediately take action, start applying what you learn, and get your team to help you.

1. You have permission to view success differently.

Today’s guest, Anthony Flynn, left his “dream job” as a C-Suite executive at the age of 24 to work in ministry outreach for $25,000 a year. Why? He saw the long game. He knew himself enough to know that his idea of fulfillment is helping others. Even though some people called him “stupid” to leave that job, he knew that it wouldn’t be his source of happiness. It’s easy to get caught up in the institutionalized idea of success – big house, big job title, big paycheck – but will that ultimately make you happy? 

2. Many people don’t put the same level of effort into their relationships as their professional lives.

How would your personal life change – your relationships with your wife, kids, closest friends – if you put the same level of focus into growing closer to them as you do with winning at work? Ultimately, those relationships matter most, and you’ll never truly be happy without the support of others. Anthony Flynn’s definition of success is “Am I finishing well with my wife and kids?” How would you answer that question?

3. Most people overestimate who they actually are at the expense of underestimating who they have the ability to become.

In other words: Is your Instagram self your real self? Too many people want to look good without doing the work to really look good in real life. They want to look fit, but are they really exercising? They want to look wealthy but have they really done the work to be professionally successful? They want to look like they have the perfect family and the perfect house, but what do things really look like behind the scenes? Focus on being authentic, on who you have the ability to become, instead of worrying about how you look to others.

What is your definition of success? Have you achieved it? 
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the balance between your personal and professional happiness? What have you learned from this week’s episode that could help you make that rating higher?
Be honest: When was a time you might have overestimated your level of success, or wanted to appear a certain way to others, when the reality might not have been what you showed.
What is one thing you can do in the next week to connect more with your family or closest friends?

Put your self-esteem into your work ethic and not the end result.

Anthony Flynn

Most people overestimate who they actually are at the expense of underestimating who they have the ability to become.

Anthony Flynn

Turn your roadblocks into an opportunity for acceleration.

Tricia Sciortino

Align your behavioral patterns with what you believe matters most to you.

Anthony Flynn

You have to put your feet to the pavement of hard work in order to make your goals a reality.

Lisa Zeeveld

(00:01) How to win this week’s giveaway – The Developing the Leader Within You 2.0 book by John Maxwell and a $25 Amazon gift card.

(3:50) This week’s listener question: “How do I enjoy my business and my life?”

(07:16) Anthony Flynn shares his fascinating story and background.

(11:25) Why do so many business owners and executives achieve great professional success but find themselves unhappy and unsatisfied in their personal lives? 

(13:36) It’s easy to put “effort” into work, but most people don’t consider putting effort into relationships with their wife, kids and other personal relationships. 

(15:04) What is different about the people who get it right when it comes to balancing professional and personal success?

(18:20) Anthony’s definition of success: “To finish well with my wife and kids.”

(21:54) Anthony explains the “4×4 Happiness Model.” 

(26:30) “Most people overestimate who they actually are at the expense of underestimating who they have the ability to become.”

(28:40) One of the best marks of fulfillment is the ability to be authentic and honest with yourself. 

(30:35) Get a coach or accountability partner to help you be authentic and grow as a leader. 

(34:06) Society’s definition of success isn’t always real success. 

(36:25) This episode’s one next step: Go download this week’s activation guide, the ebook edition of The Happiness Map: Finding Fulfillment in Life and Work written by our guest Anthony Flynn and licensed therapist Dr. Emily Shupert. This resource will give you an actionable, proven plan for finding fulfillment in work and life.

Anthony Flynn:

My number one goal is to finish well with my wife and kids. So Anthony Flynn takes responsibility every single day. In spite of my background, dysfunctions, I’ve invested more money in counseling, therapy, coaching, et cetera to be successful with my wife and kids than anything else because that’s the number one thing that I said out of my mouth that matters to me.

 

Speaker 2:

Welcome to One Next Step, the most practical business podcast in the world, helping you get more done, grow your business, and lead your team with confidence, with tips and tools you didn’t get in business school. Here are your hosts, Tricia Sciortino and Lisa Zeeveld.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Welcome to One Next Step, the practical business podcast that helps you run your business and make it stop running you so you can enjoy your work and your life. I’m Tricia Sciortino the CEO of BELAY.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And I’m Lisa Zeeveld, the COO of BELAY. Together we’re the team T and LZ, we’ve known each other since 2005 and have worked together for more than a decade growing a 100% remote business from startup to being recognized on the inc 5,000 fastest growing companies list for six years running.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

LZ and I have learned a lot along the way, and we’ve made some great friends and partners. For the One Next Step, we are cashing in some favors to bring you episodes filled with excellent content delivered by some pretty talented people. And we may have a thing or two to add ourselves. The One Next Step is here to help you on your leadership journey.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Each week we release a new episode, answering your questions about running an organization. We will always highlight one next step for you to take immediate action and include an activation guide that reinforces just what you’ve heard today.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Today, we’ll be talking about balancing your professional success and your personal happiness, and we’ll be joined by Anthony Flynn. He’s the founder of Amazing CEO and the CEO of the WorkFaith Connection. Anthony is talking with us on how to align your career with your life so it adds joy and fulfillment.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

We’ve all met people and definitely heard stories of people who were the best in their field. They earn lots of money, they helped a lot of people, and maybe even received a lot of praise, but we later discovered that their personal life was in shambles or perhaps they were burdened by depression. Every business leader listening to this podcast knows that there’s a psychological price associated with being in charge. Inc magazine once referred to it as and I quote, “Downside of being up.” Today, we’re going to learn tips and strategies to make sure your success at work adds to not subtracts from your life. Now let’s get started with today’s listener question.

 

Jackie:

Hi, Tricia and Lisa. It is Jackie from Cincinnati, Ohio. So it’s always been a dream of mine to start my own business. And so four years ago I did and things are going really well. We haven’t grown as much as I’d hoped year, but we’re still doing a little better than we did last year. Considering everything that’s happened in 2020, I’m definitely not complaining about a business that’s growing during a global pandemic. My challenge right now is me, I guess. I envisioned enjoying my business and my life much more than I have been. I’m too busy to even consistently eat dinner with my family and if it wasn’t for COVID-19, I’d be traveling much more than I have.

 

Jackie:

Ultimately, I want my business to facilitate a great life, not take away from it. I see plenty of other

business owners enjoying the fruit of their labor so what am I doing wrong? I don’t want to go through the fifth year of business only making great money, but always counting down the days until my next vacation. So yeah, any tips or advice on how to both enjoy my business and my life, which would be great. I appreciate both of you, I love the podcast. Thanks.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Hey, Jackie. Thanks for your question, and well, welcome to entrepreneurship. Without the right kind of intentionality, it is super easy to let your passion to create a thriving business overshadow your personal life. Today’s guest Executive Coach Anthony Flynn will help you calibrate your personal and professional life to match your goals. Through his work at Amazing CEO, Anthony has served leaders with Chick-fil-A, The National Football League, Morgan Stanley, FedEx and Mercedes-Benz Stadium. He’s also the coauthor of The Happiness Map, Finding Fulfillment, and Work in Life and the author of the Execution Pipeline, a step-by-step guide to moving your business idea from dream to reality. We’ll link to both of those books in the show notes so you can check them out. So now enjoy our interview with Anthony Flynn. Welcome to the podcast, Anthony. We’re so excited to have you today.

 

Anthony Flynn:

It’s an absolute honor to see you both again and to be here with you today, I look forward to spending some quality time together.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yes, this is going to be a great conversation. So we had the privilege of working with you a few years ago. We had you come in to BELAY and spend a little time with our leadership team and here’s what I remember from that time. First of all, you have an amazing story, which I want to ask you to share a little bit about. And number two, Man, you exude passion, every word that comes out of your mouth, your energy, your vibe is so much positivity and passion. So I’m so excited you’re here today. Before we get started asking you some really great questions about balancing life and work and career and all those things. I would love if you could take a couple minutes and tell us a little bit about yourself. Tell our listeners about your story, you’ve had such a fascinating journey.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Sure. Yeah. Well, again, thank you so much for being here. And of course it was a joy to spend that time at BELAY with the team. You all have such a fascinating and incredible leadership team, and so it’s no joke to me and no coincidence that you all have grown the way you’ve grown because you all represent some of the best talent and some of the greatest quality leadership I’ve ever seen. So it’s a privilege to have this opportunity to spend time with you.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Thank you.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Born to a teenage mother in poverty in Memphis, Tennessee is where it all began for me. And I saw everything as a child growing up, gangs, crime, violence, etc., You name it. The turning point in my life was my stepfather got a job at our local utility company, and my mom was a secretary who worked for a boss who was generous enough to allow us to move into a home in a community that was experiencing white flight.

 

Anthony Flynn:

So, otherwise, we wouldn’t have even been able to afford to live in that community, but frankly, the community was on a downturn and he was moving out. And so he blessed us to be able to move in and the zoning hadn’t occurred yet or rezoning for schools, so I was blessed to go to a middle school that opened my eyes up, where families, moms were showing up at school, dads were coming to football practice. I had never seen anything like that before in my life.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And so what that did for me is it created a sense of purpose for me. And there was some driving force in me along with mentorship that propelled and accelerated my life. And so I tell that part of the story, because I think it’s important to highlight that I made it out of the hood, if you will. A lot of my friends, they didn’t make it out. They’re locked up. They’re on drugs. They’re dead. Literally, some of my closest friends and so I was blessed to have a different environment and mentors in my life who help up to shift the story and the trajectory of my life. I went away to college on a full football scholarship. Actually, I had a crazy story. I had a roommate selling cocaine out of our room and he got locked up. He did 16 years of federal time.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Whoa.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And so a lot of chaos happened. And even in my college, I mean just this repeated pattern, right? Of seeing people who came from backgrounds like mine, they weren’t able to shake the generational cycles and curses. I was blessed to be able to do so. So to fast forward, I’m 24 years old. I’ve got the dream job. I graduated student of the year in my major. I was intern of the year for a top tier internship program, and I was in a dream job, 24 years old, youngest person in the country in my role four state responsibility.

 

Anthony Flynn:

My boss was in the Twin Cities of Minnesota and I had the world, and then I realized that something was missing. So externally, I had it all, if you will and I had a trajectory to be a corporate executive C-suite executive but on the inside I was broken. I was hurting. And so I walked away from it all to the surprise of everyone around me. I took $25,000 a year and no benefits to become a youth outreach worker at a startup church and that led to my mission for the last 20 years of looking for creative ways to contribute to society by lifting other people up who come from similarly broken backgrounds as mine.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. So I guess spending your life growing up, watching people struggle to get on the right path really has been your compelling vision or your why to take the path that you’ve taken. It’s an honor, honestly, to have this time with you and for you to share your story because so many people don’t make it out like you said.

 

Anthony Flynn:

That’s so true

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And that you were able what a gift, right? I know that we both share a very deep faith and that really, that you were given this gift to see that ultimate success was not going to bring you long-term joy.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so what a gift at 24 when so many people are sitting here at 54 first learning that, and they’re sitting in a C-suite position that you thought you always wanted, but would leave you hollow in the end.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely. You hit it on the head. It was indeed a gift and your square on it, a lot of my clients are in their 60s and they’re still trying to figure out, Oh my gosh, like I thought life was all about success climbing the corporate ladder, building a big company, but I’m miserable on the inside. So you’re right. It was a total gift and a privilege for me to see that at a young age.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yes, wow. I love it.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

So, it’s a perfect segue into our first question as we start talking to you today. So you’ve seen it all. And so it does beg the question. Why do you think so many business owners and executives achieve this great professional success yet find themselves unhappy in their personal lives or out of balance and successful, but not satisfied.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yeah, and for me, a couple of things, one, I’ll say this, I think their self-esteem is in the wrong place. So I like to tell people, put your self-esteem into your work ethic and not the end result. Okay, and the reason that’s relevant is because what happens is if your self-esteem is tied to results, right? So many people will map out business results as an example, especially entrepreneurs. And if their self-esteem is typed to those results, when things don’t pan out exactly like they anticipated or desire, guess what? It consumes them emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. They’re spending all their time and energy trying to get to the result they wrote down on paper and not making room for ambiguity. And then ultimately not making emotional, psychological, and spiritual space for the things and the people that matter the most. So their self-esteem is in the wrong place.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And so I don’t lose sleep at night as long as I’ve worked my butt off during the day. Even if I don’t hit certain goals or metrics for the day, frankly, if I can lay down and say, did you give it all you had to give? Now, I’m not saying just live freely and not have goals, not have metrics, but Anthony, did you exhaust yourself today, giving it all you had to give? If you did that during the hours, you said you were committed to working you should be pleased. Now get your butt up from your desk and do the same thing with your wife and with your children and with the other elements of your life that you say actually matter to you. And that’s the second point that I like. People will say certain things matter to them, but their behavioral patterns don’t line up with the things they say that actually matters to them.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Right. The effort. It’s easy to put effort into work and most people don’t consider a tight effort into

relationships, being a parent, being a good spouse.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Exactly. And if you think about the emotional… It takes a lot more emotional strength in a lot of cases, right? Like if you… And I say this respectfully, if you’re a coder as an example, and again, I say this respectfully, your metrics could be tide to pure logic and to pure numerical results. When you get home, there’s a lot of moving parts with managing a daughter or managing a son, just the emotional weight. And so the willingness to put the work in you hit it on the head. Tricia, the willingness to put the work in emotionally, psychologically, spiritually to develop at the same level of intensity as we do for the methodologies, the logic, the reasoning side of who we are. I think that’s critical, and so to me, a lot of people aren’t hitting the mark at home for that very reason.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Where do you think it all goes wrong? You said in the beginning that you had seen your dad and

probably the gentleman that he was working for being very successful. And I think that in our culture today, we really view success as that big fat paycheck. We view it really one dimensional that it just comes out. Success means you made a lot of money and you have that great home, or you have that title. When you’re taking a look at the people that you’re coaching, the ones that get it right. That are just coming to you, maybe for some small tweaks here and there. What do you think is different about them and their journey or their goal setting that it’s… Because, again, you’re telling them, “Hey, it has to be multi-dimensional.” But I feel like probably 98% of people who look at goals and who look at success are looking at it in the wrong way.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yeah. So think about this. And I’ll use… I’ll walk you through a series. So think about a child that’s born in a household. When they’re born, there are rules that govern their life in the household, and then they go to kindergarten and then elementary school has a structure that governs their life. And then middle school, then high school, then college, then the workforce. A lot of people haven’t learned to think for themselves. So they have institutionalized minds, and so they’re accustomed to the world around them defining success. Those who by experience who are accomplishing it all, if you were meaning fulfillment and life outside of work. Again, you all, I’m simple. They’re just simply courageous enough to go with what they feel like, “Wait a minute. Hitting the numbers doesn’t feel complete to me. Something is missing in my life. Let me go get help to figure out what else is missing in my life.” And once they discover what’s missing, they actually go after it.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Whereas a lot of people will discover what’s missing, but because of their institutionalized thinking, they’ll still go with the institutional way of doing life. Right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And it’s just a matter of having the courage. So me at 24 in full transparency, my mum and stepfather told me… Literally, they said verbatim that I was stupid for making the decision.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And don’t get me wrong. My mom and I have had some conversations around that, some healing around that.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Wow.

 

Anthony Flynn:

But, understand, I come from a mom who was a teenage mother. So her mind, why on earth? You are stupid for leaving Corporate America to actually go after a ministry dream? You’re 25 grand a year. But I saw the longterm, the long game. I refuse to spend my life, not building people up, I’m wired and I’m built to edify people and to contribute to the kingdom of God while also earning a decent living and being able to be a blessing to my family.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

If the equation I’m in now isn’t giving me that, why stay in the equation?

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yes. Well, and I think it’s… I think to your point, Anthony, it’s about what your definition of successes is. So your definition of success was not an executive title and how much money you were going to make. Your definition of success was about what you were going to give to people and how you were going to lead people to a better life. So achieving that is your success and I think that’s part of what gets people sideways is that their definition of what success means the end of the day, isn’t actually bringing them happiness.

 

Anthony Flynn:

You bring up a great point. If you ask me… Well, you didn’t ask me, but I’ll tell you anyway.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Please, tell me.

 

Anthony Flynn:

I’ll say it. People say your definition of success, it really is to finish well with my wife and kids.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Okay. Now watch this. We all know marriage isn’t easy, right? It’s not, so there’s been plenty of points of pain and disruption in our marriage, but my number one goal is to finish well with my wife and kids. So Anthony Flynn takes responsibility every single day. In spite of my background, dysfunctions, etc., I’ve invested more money in counseling therapy, coaching, etc., To be successful with my wife and kids than anything else because that’s the number one that I said out of my mouth and that I believe in my heart that matters to me.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And here’s what’s powerful. Here’s what’s the most powerful. If you ask my wife, she would tell you, she appreciates the energy I put into family, right?

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I love that.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Even though it hasn’t been always an easy role because we both come from very dysfunctional

backgrounds, but we are truly at a better place than we’ve ever been and I can honestly say that, but most importantly, my wife would say, Anthony, the energy you put into preserving our family and being a husband and a father, even if I miss the mark atimes she knows that that is my number one goal.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I love that.

 

Anthony Flynn:

So it lines up.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, and I love the fact. And this is what was a big game changer for my husband and I when you talk about finding and really determining what that goal is and not being institutionalized is when we sat down and we said, “At the end of our life, what do we want it to be?” You’ll talk to your financial planners and they’ll tell you, “Oh, you have to have all this money in the bank or you have to do this.”

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And we had literally sat down and said, “But no, not listening to other people what is important to us?” There’s going to be people who will disagree with what we want to do as a family, but then that every time we go to make a decision now we have that piece of paper that says, “Hey, two years ago, we sat down and we said this is how we want to finish. Is that in line with who we are as individuals, what our faith tells us, what we want.” And it makes the biggest difference because then we don’t have those outside voices who were leading us down a direction and a path that we will wake up and say, “How did we end up here?”

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely. Beautifully put.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I love that.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

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Lisa Zeeveld:

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Tricia Sciortino:

So you co-authored a new book, The Happiness Map with Dr. Emily Shupert.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

 

Tricia Sciortino:

And you talk about how people find fulfillment in work and life.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yes.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

And we know you also speak about this four by four happiness model. So would you mind introducing to us and our leaders the happiness model?

 

Anthony Flynn:

Sure. So, essentially, and I wish we had the matrix up so I can explain it and I’ll make sure you guys get a copy of it so that if people want to reach out to you they will get it.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

People can see it.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yeah, you can actually see it.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Awesome. Yes, we will give it to them.

 

Anthony Flynn:

But Emily and I, as you mentioned, Dr. Emily Shupert, who’s now Dr. Emily Ferrara, by the way. So it’s so powerful. If somebody reads the book, they will really appreciate the fact that she’s gotten married since writing the book and that’s major because her singleness was a huge part of the book. So it’s a very powerful story. But nonetheless, we did a lot of research around what we believe are the coordinates that bring fulfillment to people. That essentially, if you get these four coordinates, if you get some health around these four coordinates, not to say they’re the only coordinates, but these four coordinates really impact people and that’s family, financial, community and physical, right?

 

Anthony Flynn:

So the family aspect and just community, we mentioned financial, a lot of people hey without money in their lives it impacts a lot of people, physical wellbeing, their health, their strength, their vitality, etc., And then of course, community, not just from the vantage point of having people around you but also community from the vantage point of engagement in the community. So those are the four coordinators. Now, let me make sure, I strategically say that. At the center of that is purpose, so our philosophy is if you’re selling widgets and you don’t enjoy selling widgets, you still may experience a lack  of fulfillment, even though you may be hitting the market and some of those other coordinators. Does that make sense?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes. Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Right. So one of the first keys is finding purposeful work, if you will, in your life on a daily basis. And then looking through the lens of family, financial community, and physical aspects. And then now the next point is we have… So those are the coordinates. And then we also have what we call it the fulfillment factors, the first thought is, okay, let’s think about family. All right, where am I currently? So I’ll have a destination in mind. I want to get to a certain place, my destination. Then I’ll think about what my

current location is. So here’s my destination, here’s where I currently am, then what’s the reality or realization of what it’s going to take to get from my location, to my destination.

 

Anthony Flynn:

So it’s destination location realization, and then finally acceleration. So I have a destination. I know my current location. I’ve come to reality of what it’s going to take to get from point A to point B. And then now I need accelerate. I need to do the work necessary to move forward in my family, in my finances, in community, in my physical health. And again, with purpose at the center of that. So I know that sounds convoluted and complex. Again, if people see it, it would make sense for them

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And I love that you have the action step in there, right? Like it’s not enough. I’m sure we all have friends or family members who want something. They want a different life, they want a different outcome, but they’re not willing to put in the work to get there. And so I love that you’re allowing… You’re helping people dream about what a future could look like but at the same time you’re telling them they have to put their feet to the pavement and they have to be willing to work hard in order to make that happen.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah, because you see so many people who have a dream, but they’re also a victim. I can’t control it. It’s out of… Oh, well, I lost my job. There’s a lot of self victimization instead of to your point, acceleration

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yes.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Where people take the roadblocks and let them be roadblocks versus powering through those moments and saying, “No, this is a challenge and I’m going to crush this roadblock and I’m going to accelerate to the other side.” And maybe it’s just the confidence it takes for people to get past those things and not let them stop them.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yeah. Well, I have a statement that I share with a lot of my clients when I’m speaking that speaks to that. So that gap between reality of where you are versus the acceleration of where you want to be and here’s that statement. It’s most people overestimate who they actually are or where they actually are at the expense of underestimating who they have the ability to become. Right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

 

Anthony Flynn:

So in other words… Instagram is famous these days, right? So I would rather look good on Instagram than actually do the work to be good in real life. I would rather look fit than actually do the work to be fit. Right? And so my perspective, I’m publicly overestimating who I actually am because there’s a benefit to that, right? Like the benefit is I get a hand clap. If I look a certain way to people on the outside, I’m benefiting from that. But when I look in the mirror at night, I’m miserable and most people don’t want to take the risk to be authentic with themselves and make the internal intrinsic adjustments to actually get the fulfillment they desire. Pleasing others carries more weight than pleasing themselves and getting fulfillment on the inside.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Totally.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah. I have this thing where I have say that may sound a little harsh out there to our listeners, but I only get a certain amount of time to complain about something. And this goes to my family and friends too. If you were sitting there complaining about that you have a bad marriage, guess what? Either change it or get out of it.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yes.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Don’t sit there and tell me you don’t like your job. Either change, do something where you’re at to make it positive or find another job.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And it goes to everything in life. I’ve got people I know, “Oh my gosh, I wish I was more fit.” Okay, well then either don’t complain about it anymore or go out there and start exercising. But people allow  themselves to live in misery. They do it to themselves because they’re afraid of the change and they’re afraid of what you just said, that the world will view them differently. So they would rather have this Instagram perfect persona than actually do the hard work.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

But I can’t stand people who will sit there for years complaining about something but never want to do anything about it.

 

Anthony Flynn:

One of the best marks of fulfillment is the ability to be able to be authentic with yourself and others. Like I… As you heard me talk about marriage. I said, “Hey, my marriage hasn’t been easy.” I was born to a teenage mom in poverty. Mom, eventually got married, and then there was another war in my household with her and my stepfather. So I saw a lot of dysfunction growing up. I will talk about that to the world. Why? Because I want to fix it. Right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah.

 

Anthony Flynn:

I want to have a healthy marriage. I want to be a healthy dad. And so I’ve been able to break the curse in the cycle of my family ladies because I’ve been able to be public and authentic about my brokenness and my sickness as a human being so that I could get help, and so that could be effective with my wife and my kids. Right? And so thank you for saying that to your point and fix it.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Be honest about it and go get help for it and fix it versus trying to hide behind it because we see it.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah and history does not have to be the predictor of your future.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

History is a lesson. It’s a lesson, you learn something, take the lesson and you still get to shape your future.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Absolutely.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, and I love that. We talk a lot about being an authentic leader. And so for those who are out there listening right now, it’s okay even if you’re leading an organization to say, “I don’t have all this figured out.” Or “Hey, I’m sorry for the way I showed up in that meeting.” Right? Being authentic is that key to happiness. So, Anthony, we strive to be the most practical business podcast in the world. And so taking a look at that Happiness Map, I know there’s a lot of information there and the book is phenomenal. But if there was one thing, one piece of practical advice that someone could walk away with today to start that journey to being a multifaceted leader that has joy and happiness in their life, what is one thing they might be able to?

 

Anthony Flynn:

Yes, I would say, and by the way, this is in a self endorsement because I coach a lot of CEOs and key executives.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah.

 

Anthony Flynn:

But the point is you need to get a coach. You need to get an accountability partner. You need to get…And here’s the point if you… Ladies, if you think about it and this is true for you too. You’re where you are because one, you’re both willing to be honest with who you are and along your journey, you’ve been willing to engage, support and help, right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

To continue to go to the next level. That’s really all I’m trying to say is… A lot of my clients are literally the best in the world at. And I like to tell people, find me the best neurosurgeon you’ve ever found. Literally, go pick and pick one.

 

Anthony Flynn:

He or she can not do neurosurgery on themselves. They’re going to need to find another neurosurgeon to operate on themselves. So you can actually be the best in the world at something and still benefit from the support of someone else who’s great at something. Right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, right.

 

Anthony Flynn:

And so stop trying to operate on yourself. What you’ve been doing, isn’t working. It’s not giving you the results you want. It doesn’t mean you’re not capable of getting those results.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Anthony Flynn:

It simply means you’re not getting the results you want. So be willing to practically step out and get support. Objective support with someone who has an expertise that can guide you toward the path and the trajectory you desire for success.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

 

Anthony Flynn:

Simple, don’t complicate. It is not rocket science.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

I love that. And I think that every part of your story and your journey has really pointed to the fact that you had a coach in one form or fashion that was guiding you along the way. 

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

So much passion. I love it.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Oh, my gosh, Anthony, I am jazzed up for the day now. So I just need to spend more time with you I think.

 

Anthony Flynn:

I’m looking forward to it.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes, thank you so much for sharing with our listeners and just helping them understand that they don’t have to be singularly focused and miss out on the beautiful things in life. So thank you again for joining us.

 

Anthony Flynn:

My absolute honor. Thank you ladies for having me and I do look forward to spending some more time with you.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Talk about energy on today’s message. Wow. Anthony just brings so much passion. I just love talking with him. So Tricia, what was your take away. There was so much, goodness.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

I know it’s really hard to have one takeaway because I felt like he hit on so many poignant things that I was frivolously taking notes and really reconciling everything he was saying. I actually really love that he created a model for this, just his four by four model. I can’t wait for our listeners to see and read this book of his, but really that he put action and acceleration into the model.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Like we talked about, right? Like hitting that roadblock and pushing through anyway is that… How do you really find happiness on the other side of all the things they try and stop you all along the way? I’m a big fan of using those things as challenges and not as deterrents to continue down the path. So I love how he talks about that and really kind of just created a book and a model around how to have happiness and how to push through those things. How about you?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

It’s fascinating that at the age of 24, right? That he figured out that what society had told him his success was not his idea of success. I think that’s really important to note. And I said to you during our break here, that I was just having that conversation with my college age son, that so often we’re institutionalized in viewing success through one singular lens and it was social media out there today. It’s so easy for us to focus on.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

I need a big fat title. I need a big fat paycheck. I need that big house. And as entrepreneurs and

executives, we can get wrapped up in that too, but really taking inventory about what brings you joy and what your idea of success is. So that way you can live a very fulfilled life. At the end of your time, right? You don’t want to sit there and say, wow, look at all of this I have and be empty.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

And so to be given the gift at an early age and for us to get that gift now. We’re still young.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yes, we’re so young. To be given that gift now to focus on having a very full life with lots of joy, I think was just really, really good stuff. Giving permission to people to view success differently. It’s really good stuff.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Yeah. And not have to do what you think is the standard expectation, right?

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

You graduate high school, go to a four year university, go get a job. Sometimes the path looks different for different people. And to your point, I’m having those similar conversations with my senior in high school is that the path ahead of her is her own path.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Right.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

What is going to make her happy? It might not be following the protocol that people have laid in front of her. It will be defining what is going to make her happy in the long term and her following that path. So I love how it’s relative to business, life children, young children. It’s just such a great message overall.

 

Lisa Zeeveld:

Yeah, well, I think that’s what we’re trying to accomplish here with the One Next Step, right? We’re trying to say that you can be a great leader in all aspects of your life. Amen. Now it’s time for the One Next Step. As the most practical business podcast, we want to make sure that taking action isn’t overwhelming to you. So each episode we’re going to offer you One Next Step to propel you and your business forward. And today’s next step is to download the activation guide, which is the ebook edition of the Happiness Map, finding fulfillment in life and work written by our guest, Anthony Flynn and licensed therapist. Dr. Emily Shupert. Research reveals that happiness is an elusive thing, but it doesn’t have to be. Your work and life can truly be meaningful and fulfilling. And the happiness map you’ll learn that four by four happiness model that Anthony talked about based on research case studies and the authors real life stories. If you want an actionable proven plan for finding fulfillment and work and life definitely download this resource today.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Oh, I can’t wait to download it myself. So to download it now, text the phrase one next step to three one nine, nine six, or visit one next step podcast.com. When you request today’s guide, you’ll also receive a summary of today’s episode, which will include key quotes and takeaways and links to resources from the episode. So text the phrase one next step to three, one nine, nine, six, or visit onenextsteppodcast.com. And we love answering your questions. So please submit your business questions. So one of us or a future guest can answer it during an upcoming episode. Our challenge to you is this, download the guide and then give yourself the next 10 to 15 minutes to work on your next step. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. We hope you enjoyed it and that you’ll join us next time for more practical tips and actionable tools to advance your business. One step at a time.

 

Tricia Sciortino:

Until next time, own your journey. It’s your life and your business. It’s up to you to create the life and organization you want. So start by making today count.

 

Speaker 2:

Thanks for listening to one next step. Be sure to subscribe on Apple podcasts or follow us on Spotify, then join us next time for more practical business tips and tools to help you get more done, grow your business and lead your team with confidence for more episodes, show notes and helpful resources visit onenextsteppodcast.com.

Go download this episode’s activation guide, Chapter One of The Happiness Map: Finding Fulfillment in Life and Work written by our guest Anthony Flynn and licensed therapist Dr. Emily Shupert. Research reveals that happiness is an elusive thing—but it doesn’t have to be. Your work and life can truly be meaningful and fulfilling. In The Happiness Map, you’ll learn the 4 x 4 Happiness Model based on research, case studies, and the authors’ real life stories. If you want an actionable, proven plan for finding fulfillment in work and life, download this resource today.

 

Learn More

 

In each episode, we highlight one next step for you and provide an activation or delegation guide to help you immediately take action, start applying what you learn, and get your team to help you.

Win a Free Book!

Each week for the rest of the year, Tricia and LZ will be going back and forth giving away a copy of one of their favorite books. 2020 was quite the year, so we want to help you and someone you care about to get a head start going into the new year.  

This week we are giving away one of my top picks which is Developing the Leader Within You 2.0 by John Maxwell and a $25 Amazon gift card.  To be entered to win, you need to:

  • Follow Tricia and LZ on Instagram (@triciasciortino and @lisazeeveld)
  • Tag 3 friends or colleagues on this week’s podcast post who you think would love this book and the One Next Step Podcast
  • And use the hashtag #onenextsteppodcast in your post

If you want to earn some extra credit, share their Instagram post in your story and tag @belaysolutions, @triciasciortino, and @lisazeeveld for an additional chance to win. 

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Join Us Next Week

Thank you for listening to One Next Step.

We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode with Carey Nieuwhof, founding and teaching pastor at Connexus Church and the best-selling author of Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects But Everyone Experiences. He’ll be chatting with us about burnout, which typically occurs when high-performing people have increasingly low well-being. In next week’s episode, we will learn how to understand, avoid and overcome burnout.